Daybook

writings in a planner
Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

Out my Window: Beautiful end of summer with a hint of fall weather. Leaves starting to change. Sunflowers drooping. Lots of buzzing bees.

Enjoying: The last hurrah of summer over the weekend. Autumn’s arrival! The colors popping up. My pumpkin spice candle burning during the cooler evenings. Disciples new album. Trying new recipes.

Listening to: Disciple’s new album Love Letter Kill Shot https://disciplerocks.com/music/ (if you like heavy rock, then you will enjoy this. It is so good on many levels.) Twenty-one Pilots’ Blurryface album.  Malcolm Gladwell’s new book Talking to Strangers on Audible.  Wow! Blowing my mind on communication and human interaction. (Disclaimer: there is some strong language in clips that he plays, and I did have to skip ch. 6 and 10 due to re-enactment of court room transcripts from high profile cases involving child abuse, sexual assault, and a murder connected to sexual stuff. I am highly sensitive and could not listen… not sure if that was the whole chapter because I was listening, skipping to the new chapter was easier. I do not feel like I missed the points he was making by skipping them, but I needed to do that for my heart and mind.) So interesting about how we read people and interpret people versus how we explain ourselves. It continues to be very interesting.

Reading: New book launch group… so excited to get on the launch team for Kelly Minter’s cookbook, A Place at the Table. I have done a few of her Bible studies and love the recipes she included in them. Looking forward to this different type of book to launch. Should be fun. https://kellyminter.com/a-place-at-the-table/.

Carrying around: Unhurried Leader: The Lasting Fruit of Daily Influence by Alan Fadling

By my bed: participating in a Bible Reading Challenge. Reading through the Bible by April, so when I sub I have been catching up at night. It has been good to read through larger passages at a time. It has been awhile since I have done this. I have also very slowly been working through Matthew Henry’s Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit.

Pondering: Malcolm Gladwell’s book has me thinking about how we read people, or think we have a handle on a person’s honesty or emotions by their facial expressions, eyes, and body language. This last section is about when people’s inner state and outer state do not line up with our cultural assumptions we have a super hard time making sense of them. Not everyone shows emotions in the same way, but in the West we teach kids from a young age what a sad, angry, happy, or neutral face look like. But do they really? I was thinking back to how much trouble I would get in as a kid because when I was already in trouble I would get a nervous giggle or smirk that was not out of defiance, but purely nerves. My parents did not read it that way, and it increased my punishment. This last section has me thinking back to a situation were I was totally caught off guard by an individual’s actions because I believed she had been truthful and was a certain type of person because her words and actions gave this off. I knew something was up, but I gave the benefit of the doubt because of the way I read her. When the truth came out I felt sucker punched and was in shock at how deeply off I was about the person. As I went back over things, it helped me to see how many times I had made excuses for the person based on my assumptions. I wrote off all the red flags because they didn’t line up with what I thought I saw in the person. It is fascinating how many times we do that has humans. This is good for human interaction so we do not walk around paranoid and untrusting all the time, but it does make me think how much I really need to lean on, and ask for God’s wisdom and discernment instead of just trusting my own gut feelings.

Learning: I have been reading and studying about idols of our hearts. God is graciously showing me that fear is a root idol in my heart mostly with those closest to me. Unfortunately, it comes out as critical and controlling as I want to push my individuals away from what I perceive as hard choices that may have huge consequences. It also comes out as nagging, as I want my close ones to get certain lessons quickly. I am trying to push them along their journeys faster than the pace they are on and then carrying stress for them… Fear ultimately is mistrust of God. So I am back at re-learning that God is more than able to care for my heart people. He is more than able to redeem even the ugliest and messiest of messes. As I am reading through the Old Testament I am reminded of that. Learning that trusting God with my heart people is a moment by moment choice, taking my thoughts captive and being quick to listen, slow to speak, and quick to pray for them and for whether words or actions need to come out of me. This seems to be the biggest stronghold of my superhero syndrome (you can read about that here… https://inkblotlife.com/2018/10/09/unmasking-a-superhero-wannabee/ ) I just want to swoop in to fix and help, instead of doing the slow work of walking with them, and allowing them to own their stories, and choose or not choose to let God write theirs.

Home: I had a long weekend and beautiful weather, so I painted the trim on the exterior windows and doors. I still need to do the front. Spent some time sorting through books and cleaning up piles of things. Finding better organization systems for things and giving away things that we no longer use. Maintaining home cleaning, but still need cleaning system. Since I am all about structure and plans right now, I am thinking about following a calendar of cleaning I found for October and see how that goes. https://cleanmama.com/free-october-2019-homekeeping-calendar/?fbclid=IwAR0aRWOueAcbl27mdobmc3f6tAWe-mYR0KNBwF1Zl_Pu1Oah6tIfHUfaoiA

Fitness and Mental Health: Still schlogging. Finished doing the Pilates Challenge so I started Robin Long’s old 30 days challenge I found https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3pvUvxfmQo&t=23s . Mental Health… Doing a Scripture Memory Challenge of Psalm 1, taking my thoughts captive. Practicing listening deeper.

Giving Thanks: Beautiful weather, accomplishing some stuff on my to do list, my younger got a job, women in my life that really are hungering for God and choosing even in the hard to pursue Him, slower Sunday, generous offers from people to help with our car situation, subbing, my older learning more of who he is and how he is wired, for a wise husband who knows how to talk me off ledges…

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