Daybook (Seattle Edition)

writings in a planner
Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

Out my Window: One window is the Mariner’s T-Mobile stadium and the other is Puget Sound, a Shipyard, and beyond all this, the amazing Olympic Mountain Range (which thankfully still makes appearances even on rainy, cloudy days)

Enjoying: Extra time as a family. Exploring Seattle. Laughing after another person lets us know that Seattle doesn’t get that much rain and it really doesn’t get any measurable rain. Apparently Boston and NYC get way more. Usually we meet these people when we are trying to dry off for a moment before moving on.

Listening to: I ended up listening to Steve Martin’s Autobiography, Born Standing Up, A Comic Life on the long flight. He is quite a multifaceted individual and intrigues me. This audiobook is PG in some of the content,  but he is discussing the 60s and road travel, so it is to be expected. He doesn’t stay on those topics too long, or too graphicly. It was interesting listening to his development as a comic, and as a human being. I have not really been into his randomness as a comedian, but this was still an interesting telling of a very interesting human being.

Reading: Whenever the moments allow, I have been reading Saints: Becoming More than Christians by Addison Bevere as I received it for a review. It has been a good encouragement and framing of our identity as the beloved because of who Christ is. I am trying to stay focused so I can get the review done, but I am looking forward to the other two books I brought with me, Seth Haines’ new book The Book of Waking Up: Experiencing the Divine Love That Reorders a Life and Danielle Strickland’s The Ultimate Exodus: Finding Freedom from What Enslaves You.

Pondering: This quote has rushed back to my mind, much to my chagrin as my interactions with family have not been as loving, patient, or as gentle as I wish.

If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted. -Amy Carmichael

Sigh, I would like to blame it on hormones, fatigue, and stress which would be true, but that is not who I am at my truest sense, or have to be. Self-control instead of reactions, perseverance instead of pushing, loving instead of impatience are all part of being yoked with Christ. His way is gentle and humble. My insides have been jarred quite a bit and what is spilling out is not the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control but my unyoked self pushing forward. Jesus promises rest and peace when we are yoked to Him. On my own I am pushing and prodding myself and crashing into others. So I am setting my eyes on Jesus again, and choosing to set my mind and heart on Him as I walk through all of these moments tired, and hormonal, and stressed but with Jesus as the one I am yoked to.

Learning: Well, not sure if I am learning it, probably just more pondering, but what does it look like to allow oneself to feel all the emotions in a moment as they come. I am realizing I have learned through my life to compartmentalize. I will feel this later. I will deal with the emotions later. In some ways I think that is necessary and helpful, but in some ways I think it makes the moments less authentic and even more awkward as I try to keep the less controllable ones under control and be in the moment. I think it goes back to that Brene Brown encouragement from Christmas, “you are allowed to piss and moan, but with perspective.” In my case, be sad but with perspective, it is not all sad, but it is not all happy. There is tension to learn to walk in.

Home Life: Trying to help my oldest set up his new home before we head back east. I am very thankful for Amazon since city living with no car makes getting beds and things interesting.

Fitness and Mental Health: Walking all over Seattle. I found out there are many hills, so I am feeling it. Did a day of Pilates, but much walking is my fitness for now. Mental Health: Mountain hunting… We are in view almost always of the Olympic Mountain Range. It is fascinating when you can see them and when they disappear. When they appear they are breathtaking and their beauty refreshes my soul and reminds me that the rock I cling to is bigger. Also reaching out to friends to cover me in prayer. Holding onto truth.

Giving Thanks: My oldest getting his apartment. The people who have been kind and helpful. For friends who are praying and helping keep perspective. For opportunities we have to travel out to Seattle and have this time. For how things are coming together. For my son’s job. I am thankful for big city deliveries of Whole Food and Amazon in a short amount of time.

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