Out my Window: Bitter cold, but the mornings have been beautiful. There have been marvelous pinks against the twinkling snow and the moon has been radiant in the early hours. Looking forward to getting past the winter solstice so we can start lengthening the daylight.
Enjoying: Blankets, candles, homemade bread, Christmas lights
Listening to: The Holy Post Podcast https://www.holypost.com/holy-post-podcast. This past week was a hard one to listen to due to sound quality of the interview, but the content is worth the effort. There is an interview with Os Guinness about perception of time and rhythms and how that is impacting the church and culture. I added another book to my wishlist, Carpe Diem Redeemed: Seizing the Day, Reading the Times https://www.holypost.com/holy-post-podcast/episode/1c72065e/episode-382-the-right-side-of-history-with-os-Guinness I also saw that Preach had my “friend” (someday!) Jeannie Gaffigan on so I had to listen. https://preachpod.org/listen/jeannie-gaffigan I was not disappointed and appreciated the her honesty, humor, and thoughtfulness on faith. It was an interesting conversation as the host is Mormon and is definitely struggling with faith of any kind, but leans into Jeannie’s words and seems to crave what she has.
Reading: By my bed: Unhurried Leader: The Lasting Fruit of Daily Influence by Alan Fadling, this is set a side for now, due to Advent. I now have Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas compiled by Plough Publishing by my bed and The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp and Advent and Christmas, Wisdom from G.K. Chesterton laying around to pick up and read in free moments.
My carry around book: Ordered and started Adorned: Living out the Beauty of the Gospel Together by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth as I am wrestling through what it looks like to disciple others and live out the gospel together. So far it is good and accessible. I am saving the book When Air Becomes Breath that my brother sent me that I know I will want to sit and read through for Christmas Break.
I am on a book launch team. I was given a three chapter peek at She Laughs: Choosing Faith over Fear by Carolanne Miljavac. Review coming, along with some promotions on social media. Definitely a simple read. Carolanne tells stories, some very funny that she weaves a truth through to encourage.
Pondering: So a friend put this phrase out there after I had quipped some “Spiritual” phrase of how we should only expect things from God and what He promises. We had been talking about expectations or rather many unmet expectations during this season, especially with family, and she tossed it out there in her gentle, unassuming way…”unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments.” Premeditated resentments…. I had her repeat it a few times and message it to me. It hit me hard. It felt personal. How many times did I have unrealistic expectations for my family and then of course they let me down, they were not capable of meeting that need, and yet I still deep down had that expectation, and also fully expected the let down… premeditated resentment. Ouch… As I have been pondering it, I am realized it had shone up in other areas of my life. It is true that we should not have expectations for others that are not meant for them but only God, but how easy to have underlying expectations of people that set me up to for resentment. That phrase feels very powerful and needs more time for me to mull over and work out some of the ramifications of its truth. I believe there is weight to it, but also more freedom is waiting to be found in understanding and naming it in my life.
Learning: Learning and re-learning how to say good yeses, and staying present in those situations. This week I said yes to a phone call, a get together, and an event. My underlying current seems to say there is no time for such things. There is so much that needs to be done, but during each interaction I knew I deeply needed them. I need too be intentional with feeding my soul and heart with interactions with people who remind me who God is, and who I am, people who make me laugh, but also call me out on my stuff, safe people to wrestle through the challenges of this season of life. Learning that no matter how busy, or full the schedule is, it is important to take time to fellowship.
Home: Thankful for Christmas lights. I hung more up this week and continue to light the candles. Setting aside the frustrations of lack of order in the household chores world and will figure it out over break after Christmas.
Fitness and Mental Health: Fitness is back to crickets, which I know is not good. Mental Health: listening to podcasts and audiobooks has been beneficial for me. Christmas lights make me happy. Candles burning. Trying to make time to write, even if it is starting a post and saving it for later.
Giving Thanks: Phone chat with a kindred friend, time with deep friends who are safe to show my heart a bit to, making stain glass ornament with a friend, subbing this week, love the teens, so thankful for their willingness to play, laugh, share, and love, for schedules continuing to work out to get three people where they need to be, friend who is helping us, generosity of a more distant family member, generosity of the auto mechanic, servant heart of both my boys