Out my Window: The stars took my breath away the other night. It was so clear and the stars were so bright. Fireflies looking for love. During the day the hummingbirds have gone mad. Lots of chasing each other, dive bombing me and each other as they head to and from the feeders.
Enjoying: Berries! What was supposed to be the Chia Parfait from the cookbook Ready or Not, has become a favorite once I tasted the chia soaked in Vanilla Almond Milk and enjoyed it so much it never became the parfait. My younger son and I have been enjoying the PBS Sherlock series.
Listening to: Not a lot of structured listening at the moment. Pandora station: Hillsong Young and Free. My son got me listening to Brique a Braq on Spotify: beautiful, relaxing background music.
Reading: I finished Glorious Weakness: Discovering God in all We Lack by Alia Joy. I would recommend it. There are some difficult topics mentioned but I feel like she handled them well. She wrestles with the difficult and hard of life, especially with walking through life with mental illness. I appreciated her incite, honesty, bravery, and pointing to God’s goodness. I am thankful she chose to be brave and share her story. The last paragraph is probably my favorite:
We keep company with sadness. We learn the lament of everyone who holds quietly to the knowing: things are not as they should be. And still we hope. Still we see our Redeemer come. We speak a dialect of our kin, our native tongue. We are fluent in hope. We bear witness to the goodness of God in the most unlikely places. He is our all in all-we know this from the desperate spaces when we had nothing else. No other route, no calmer sea, no other choice but surrender. And that is a gift. That is our glorious weakness.
Carry around book is Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb from the library.
I decided I need to start The Promise is His Presence by Glenna Marshall before Maybe you Should Talk to Someone as things are starting to get busy on the Book Launch page. More info will be coming on my Facebook page and eventually a review here. The book itself is very good. Her personal story and some of her struggles are ones I can relate to. I appreciate her weaving it through the pages of Scripture looking for God during this time and finding He is enough. It has been a challenging read for me because the format the publisher gave was a PDF instead of a Kindle type file or book, but I am almost done so I can share effectively about the book.
Pondering: Recently my feelings about things have been large. Many people around me are struggling with various things in life plus the struggles of humanity in general. I feel like that old urge to swoop in and rescue, or fix is looming large https://inkblotlife.com/2018/10/09/unmasking-a-superhero-wannabee/ and the situations are ones that there is really nothing I can do to rescue or fix. So I am pondering why this is stirring up this depth of emotions and pondering what my role is and is not in these people’s lives, and in the bigger circumstances that are going on in our country.
Learning: This summer my ladies’ small group is going through Romans 12. I am learning again and again what does it look like to view myself and others in the light of God’s mercies. I was so frustrated with this woman who causes a lot of trouble in a certain family. She compromises herself and tempts others to compromise. I was mad, as in flipping tables and plucking beards mad, https://inkblotlife.com/2018/10/17/nehemiah-ministry-and-other-not-so-spiritual-ideas/ but after I repented, God shown light, and reminded me that this person does not follow Him and also has mental issues. Where was my compassion and brokenness for the woman who feels the need to compromise herself all the time to gain attention and worth? Why was I not viewing her in light of God’s mercies? Those mercies that allowed Him to love the woman caught in adultery and offer her freedom and a future, the mercies that allowed Him to love the woman at the well and offer her freedom and a future. Those mercies that He daily pours out on my life to offer me freedom and a future. I know it is not mine to interact with this woman, but it is mine to have God’s eyes of compassion and mercy as I see her actions. Viewing her in light of God’s mercies allows my heart to break for her, and pray for her instead of judge her and alienate her. This is a long journey of learning it over and over.
Home: I am learning things do not take as long as I think they will. I put off tasks because of the time I think they will take, then promptly waste that time. Last night I decided to stain the picnic table. I had already prepped the table of few different times but I finally decided to just do it, and it did not take very long at all and it looked so much better. I remember when I first was learning to be better about housekeeping The Fly Lady was my guru http://flylady.net/ . She said set a timer for 5 minutes and do one task. I think I may need to get back to this.
Fitness and Mental Health: Schlogging on many days. Up to 14 pushups for now. I have not added other exercises yet. Mental Health has been allowing myself to watch a whole series with my son (we are both sad now because it is over) and taking extra time to read. Trying to allow myself summer vacation mentality. The shoulds seem loud even though I know God is ordering my days. It has been a struggle.
Giving Thanks: So thankful to get to visit my oldest at his new job and new home. It was an added joy because my sister-in-law and her family drove out of their way to meet us there. So we had cousins’ time also. Much laughter and fun was had with 5 boys (young men) around. Thankful for opportunities to connect with people that I have not been able to for awhile. Thankful for some friends who are seeking help and working toward healing in their lives. It is refreshing and exciting to see. Thankful for summer days and evenings of more relaxing and connecting with my family and others. Thankful for the little kids in our church that I have had the privilege to connect with. The joy and excitement when they see me makes me happy.