Not My Story

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Being part of this write31days.com has been a very interesting exercise. This blog started not that long ago with a lesson from a 30 day challenge. That one involved pushups. (See “Reps” https://inkblotlife.wordpress.com/2018/09/06/reps/) “Every rep makes you stronger” was what I walked away with and the desire to just do something, to stop avoiding things because I cannot do them full on.  This blog was a baby step I took. This writing challenge has been so good to help me organize my time and tease out some thoughts on things that I have jotted down over the years. It has brought back other memories and other lessons.

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One lesson though has been loud and clear as I think about the many lessons learned and that is, not all stories are mine to tell. Some of my most profound, deep heart lessons involve others still walking out their story, and they are not mine to share. It was my privilege to walk with them through part of their story, and a gift for what God has taught me through it. Some of those lessons have shown me how profoundly, personally, and intimately God will show up for someone who is deeply lost and hurting. Some stories have caused me to ask the hard but necessary questions: if no one knows my role, or remembers, or if people misinterpret my actions, or motives, am I still willing to enter in? What are my true motives? Who is this really about? When I say something or offer something, do I really mean it? Do I really trust God in the hard or the thing that looks impossible?

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These stories that I cannot share, have taught me the power of prayer,the necessity of prayer, the intimacy of prayer. The other part of not being able to share their details, is the not being able to help “edit their stories” as my friend Kim reminds me often. If you have followed this blog at all this month, you are probably noticing a pattern of how I want to help, fix, rescue, or edit people’s stories. I want to help them avoid the hurt and ache. I want them to become who God has for them to be without the trouble and get there quickly, but as I was reminded in my husband’s sermon recently, Moses was in the desert for 40 years… he needed those 40 years to be ready to walk into his truest self, his role for which he had been created. It is not mine to decide how someone’s story should go. My job is to be faithful in speaking truth in love when it is my turn, to love deeply without personal motives, to be all in as God directs, and leave the rest to Him.

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Photo courtesy of Katy Johnston

As I think of others and their stories, I think of John Piper’s words, God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” I see how God has shaped me, grown me, and healed me in so many ways. I have seen how God has worked, and shown up in other’s lives in ways I never could have imagined or asked. I am so thankful to have a front row seat to watch God’s good hand work all things out for His glory and our good.

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